Just Looking At You!
Tagged as: Oct 28You know what is disconcerting? When someone is just looking at you. I’ve noticed this while being both the looker and the lookee. (I just made that word up but I could have actually made that into more proper English. Sometimes I’m just a rebel like that.)
So when you’re doing anything, whether that’s talking to someone, eating, studying, or anything in between it is quite interesting to suddenly look up and see that someone had been staring at you. You know that they’d been staring since they would not have been making a looking motion just as you’re looking. So if they look away quickly or even if they keep looking, it’s bound to make you feel a little bit uncomfortable.
Why do we dislike getting stared at?
I’d say that it’s likely because we, as humans, don’t like to be analyzed and have someone witnessing everything that we’re doing. We enjoy having some semblance of privacy and freedom to be who we are without being judged. That’s the deep reason. Practically, we just don’t like being creeped out. Or other people noticing our flaws. Like that booger in your nose that you can feel but can’t pick because that would just be obviously gross.
What to do?
Hard as it might be, I say stare back until they back down. This sounds like a childish game of chicken, but I still think that it’s part of a rather fun solution.
Well I suppose that a logical solution would also be to just be comfortable enough with yourself so that you don’t need to feel nervous or uneasy with someone following your every move. But not everyone is going to be able to get to that point.
Hmm…well you could also go the route of blatantly asking, “What’s your problem, buster?” (or some other suitable term for a girl if it’s a she rather than a he). But that takes some guts. And if you’ve got those guts, you probably don’t care a lick what they’re staring at because you have more important things to do.
So most of us are just going to suck it up. And not know what to do. And hope that whoever is looking at us is:
- Not a creepy stalker
- Someone who is attractive so that the staring is more of a compliment
- Not laughing at you on the inside
Yeah I don’t have a solution, I wish that I did. Because then I could utilize it! If you’ve got one, let me know because I’m no fan of this myself.
what if they just think you’re good looking? hahaha.. you are quite a looker, derek wong! haha..
Haha well I suppose that would not be a bad thing. But it’d be nice to know it was that rather than a piece of food on my lip, wouldn’t it? Besides, how often is that actually the case? Does that happen to you? Do you get admiring stares as you saunter by the menfolk?
Someone staring at me makes me self conscious. If I’m with a friend or family it might not bother me as much in fact, we’d probably laugh it off but when I’m by myself it really is an uncomfortable feeling. I’m not the type of person to blurt out a comment but maybe sometimes I should.
Thanks for the comment, Laurie! That’s definitely true, it does depend in part on how well you know the person. So what do you usually do when you catch someone?
In gradeschool if we caught people staring we simply responded “Take a picture it last longer”
Well I guess it primarily depends on whether I’m alone or with someone. Also, if its a situation where I can just get away from it. If I can, than I do. Otherwise, I try to ignore it and focus on something else but I have been known to ask if there is something a person needs, something disturbing them, that type of thing. I try not to be rude even though I think their behavior is rude.
Sounds like it happens to you more often than it should!
Those seem like reasonable responses. I’d like to think that I’m not a rude person in general (and I try not to be), but I’d hope that I would be able to speak up if someone was staring. It’s harder than it sounds!
It doesn’t happen all too often to me, but it did recently and it just made me realize once again how disconcerting it is!
I never noticed this problem before, but then again, I tend to live in my own little world…
I do remember when I first started babysitting (age 7), I would get left mostly with sleeping babies who I was convinced that I could “stare awake”, knowing I’d be in trouble if I woke them up on purpose. I will say, it is occasionally possible to wake a baby by staring at him or her too hard!
Living in your own world is another solution!
Haha staring a baby awake sounds like a pretty funny way to pass the time! Were you someone who babysat as a teenager as well? I’m sure that must have made for some interesting experiences!
I’ve caught people staring at me but generally they don’t KEEP staring they look away. If they look like they were daydreaming, that’s one thing - they weren’t really staring at me. I generally just smile and go back to what I’m doing.
I like people watching and sometimes I may stare. If it’s a guy and they catch me at it, I just hope they don’t think it’s because I’m attracted to them as this isn’t always the case. Usually it’s because they look interesting in some way.
As for an attractive man staring at me? Uh…I end up being a bit clueless. I’ve had my mom or a friend say, “He’s look at you.” or I’ve had a guy tell me later, “Oh…I noticed you RIGHT AWAY.” but they played it so cool I had no idea. I have to admit, I don’t have much confidence in the “I’m all that” department!
Differentiating between the daydreamers and the starers is pretty tough. They can often be confused.
Haha I like people watching, too! But I probably feel most comfortable doing it in highly public places where there are lots of people to watch. Nonetheless the people that I’m watching would probably think that I’m staring at them (and rightly so!) if they happened to look my way. I try to be less than obvious about it, and that’s easier when it’s a very public place because for all they know I could be looking at the person right next to them.
Either I’m oblivious to people checking me out or…they just don’t do it. Haha