Comments on: Building Relationships http://www.goingthewongway.com/2007/12/31/building-relationships/ I'm ALWAYS going the Wong way Thu, 20 Nov 2008 09:47:32 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Jill/Twipply Skwood http://www.goingthewongway.com/2007/12/31/building-relationships/#comment-7843 Jill/Twipply Skwood Thu, 24 Jan 2008 02:20:01 +0000 http://www.goingthewongway.com/2007/12/31/building-relationships/#comment-7843 Don't we all! Don’t we all!

]]> By: Derek http://www.goingthewongway.com/2007/12/31/building-relationships/#comment-7471 Derek Tue, 15 Jan 2008 06:46:03 +0000 http://www.goingthewongway.com/2007/12/31/building-relationships/#comment-7471 Yeah I guess that you're probably right that not all of this post is always applicable. It seemed like a good analogy at the time anyways. I think that you hit right on my main point with the fact that some small action or remark can cause a huge mess. All I know is that I, for one, mess up far too often! Yeah I guess that you’re probably right that not all of this post is always applicable. It seemed like a good analogy at the time anyways.

I think that you hit right on my main point with the fact that some small action or remark can cause a huge mess.

All I know is that I, for one, mess up far too often!

]]> By: Jill/Twipply Skwood http://www.goingthewongway.com/2007/12/31/building-relationships/#comment-7359 Jill/Twipply Skwood Sun, 13 Jan 2008 00:23:27 +0000 http://www.goingthewongway.com/2007/12/31/building-relationships/#comment-7359 I can definitely see the analogy in that the hurtful things sort of make a huge impact for their size. Like you said one little side remark can really, really pack an emotional punch. But I don't know about the rest, especially the ratio of time spent building the relationship to destroying it...sigh... I can definitely see the analogy in that the hurtful things sort of make a huge impact for their size. Like you said one little side remark can really, really pack an emotional punch. But I don’t know about the rest, especially the ratio of time spent building the relationship to destroying it…sigh…

]]> By: Derek http://www.goingthewongway.com/2007/12/31/building-relationships/#comment-7181 Derek Wed, 09 Jan 2008 18:16:54 +0000 http://www.goingthewongway.com/2007/12/31/building-relationships/#comment-7181 You have some good points. It's true that relationships aren't necessarily a failure when they end. And even though I didn't explicitly say that, I guess it was implied by my analogy. I definitely see that relationships are lessons, whatever the outcome. Hm well I wrote this entry because I was noticing a few instances where things like a side comment, a too loud comment, or a sarcastic remark undermined a far greater amount of work spent building up the relationship. Not that the negative action necessarily destroyed it, but it just weighed so much more in comparison to the good deeds: the sincere inquiries, the encouraging remarks, etc. Plus I had recently tried out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sport_stacking. However, I thought that the house of cards was a better analogy because it was more common. So really the entry probably wasn't as extreme (relationship failure, ultimatums, etc) as you read it. But I definitely see how you could have thought that I was writing about those things. I like a lot of your observations in light of that reading, though. Seeing it more clearly (hopefully) through this comment, what do you think? You have some good points. It’s true that relationships aren’t necessarily a failure when they end. And even though I didn’t explicitly say that, I guess it was implied by my analogy. I definitely see that relationships are lessons, whatever the outcome.

Hm well I wrote this entry because I was noticing a few instances where things like a side comment, a too loud comment, or a sarcastic remark undermined a far greater amount of work spent building up the relationship. Not that the negative action necessarily destroyed it, but it just weighed so much more in comparison to the good deeds: the sincere inquiries, the encouraging remarks, etc.

Plus I had recently tried out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sport_stacking. However, I thought that the house of cards was a better analogy because it was more common.

So really the entry probably wasn’t as extreme (relationship failure, ultimatums, etc) as you read it. But I definitely see how you could have thought that I was writing about those things. I like a lot of your observations in light of that reading, though. Seeing it more clearly (hopefully) through this comment, what do you think?

]]> By: Ms. Q http://www.goingthewongway.com/2007/12/31/building-relationships/#comment-7135 Ms. Q Tue, 08 Jan 2008 22:47:04 +0000 http://www.goingthewongway.com/2007/12/31/building-relationships/#comment-7135 Relationships do take effort and trust. I think that relationships shouldn't be thought of as "failures" when they end. Like anything else, they are lessons and sometimes painful ones. Of course, you must figure out what lesson can be learned! To add to Anne's comment, if you feel the urge to question a relationship, it's probably your intuition waving a red flag. I've had friendships fade as people change and that's one thing. Except for romantic relationships, I haven't had any type of dramatic end to my relationships in as long as I can remember. I'm a big believer in communication. If I had built up trust in someone and that trust appeared to have been broken, I would ask what was going on. Then again, I'm not a snap-decision, door-slamming-ultimatum-screaming person. Anyway, my thought is that relationships are not a house of cards - the strength comes from 2 people involved. If most of my relationships tended to end abruptly, I'd start to wonder at what was going on within myself. Has something happened that you have come this belief? Relationships do take effort and trust. I think that relationships shouldn’t be thought of as “failures” when they end. Like anything else, they are lessons and sometimes painful ones. Of course, you must figure out what lesson can be learned!

To add to Anne’s comment, if you feel the urge to question a relationship, it’s probably your intuition waving a red flag. I’ve had friendships fade as people change and that’s one thing. Except for romantic relationships, I haven’t had any type of dramatic end to my relationships in as long as I can remember.

I’m a big believer in communication. If I had built up trust in someone and that trust appeared to have been broken, I would ask what was going on. Then again, I’m not a snap-decision, door-slamming-ultimatum-screaming person.

Anyway, my thought is that relationships are not a house of cards - the strength comes from 2 people involved. If most of my relationships tended to end abruptly, I’d start to wonder at what was going on within myself.

Has something happened that you have come this belief?

]]> By: Derek http://www.goingthewongway.com/2007/12/31/building-relationships/#comment-7062 Derek Sun, 06 Jan 2008 05:50:03 +0000 http://www.goingthewongway.com/2007/12/31/building-relationships/#comment-7062 That's a really interesting rule, and I appreciate you sharing it. I'll definitely have to tuck that one away where it will probably get pulled out at some random time as "something that I've heard." :P That’s a really interesting rule, and I appreciate you sharing it. I’ll definitely have to tuck that one away where it will probably get pulled out at some random time as “something that I’ve heard.” :P

]]> By: Anne http://www.goingthewongway.com/2007/12/31/building-relationships/#comment-7037 Anne Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:06:42 +0000 http://www.goingthewongway.com/2007/12/31/building-relationships/#comment-7037 I've definitely seen my share of failed relationships and friendships, even when they are not my own others seem to get dragged in anyway. My friend is about to go through her second divorce. There's a key rule I live by that she doesn't seem to get. If you ever have to ask "is this relationship right for me?" It isn't. I’ve definitely seen my share of failed relationships and friendships, even when they are not my own others seem to get dragged in anyway. My friend is about to go through her second divorce. There’s a key rule I live by that she doesn’t seem to get.

If you ever have to ask “is this relationship right for me?” It isn’t.

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