On Asking A Girl Out
Tagged as: Jun 04Dating is a frightening proposition. I thought I’d put together some pointers for those guys who might be thinking about venturing out into the big blue sea.
- Scared - That’s right, girls are scary. They’re mean. They’re intimidating. So shy away from them. Ask them out using as little direct interaction as possible (e.g. while chatting online, on their Facebook, over e-mail). They’ll just want to coddle and love you because they can see that you’re a sensitive soul.
- Ask Everyone For Advice - Communal knowledge, right? Ask her friends, her enemies, your friends, your enemies, strangers, and anyone else what you should do before you actually do it. But no matter what, don’t ask her yet.
- Nervous - It’s not easy. So go ahead and stutter, stumble over your words, and forget what you wanted to say. She’ll understand. It’s a tough, cold world.
- Over Dramatize - Asking out a girl is a big deal. So go all out. Flowers? Of course. Dress up? Sure. Jewelry? Perhaps. Because really, once she says yes to a date, she’s probably going to say yes to anything else that you ask.
- Trick Her - Don’t even call it a date. Call it “hanging out” or “catching up” or something similarly ambiguous. That way you can get in under the radar without having to put yourself out there. Because if you put yourself out there, you might get hurt. And that doesn’t feel good!
- Figure Out Everying Before - She’s gonna say yes anyways. So you have to know what kind of centerpieces you’re going to have at your banquet. Man she’s going to look beautiful walking down that aisle towards you, huh?
- Don’t Take No For An Answer - She really wants you. She’s just playing hard to get. Go get ‘em, Tiger. Even if she gets a restraining order. Even if she never responds to you. Even if she says to get out of her life and never call her again. It’s all a ploy. Only suckers fall for ploys.
Now you’re ready, young man. Or old man. Whatever stage of life you are man. You have all of the tools necessary to win the woman of your dreams. Don’t worry, she’s gonna love you. Trust me, I can tell about these kinds of things.
Hey, I’ve met guys like you before (LOL).
Haha guys like me? Super duper cool?
I don’t think it’s intentional, but it’s absolutely hilarious that the advertisement link on top of your page for this post is for a website called “Art of Approaching Beautiful Women”.
I block ads from my own site so that I don’t throw off the numbers. Anyways, that’s pretty amusing! Guess somebody thinks that my post might make people want to know how to approach women.
oh whaaat. i thought you said you’re not the kinda of guy to trick a girl into a date!
“The Wrong Way” tag means this is all sarcastic. Well sarcastic because this is all stuff that I wouldn’t do. Hmm…sarcasm sensor malfunction? Haha
I wasn’t sure if you were still doing the “Wrong Way” posts! Glad to see you are… Regarding Sarcasm:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20080620/sc_livescience/sarcasmseenasevolutionarysurvivalskill
HAHAHAAHAH, derek wong! we all know you’re not a pam so don’t try to pretend that you are!!!! :DDD you’re sooo funny!! “whatever stage of life you are man” hahaha…
in the words of kiki in her voicemail: i miss you!
Alright you caught me. These are actually things that I’ve seen in myself or in others that I don’t want other guys to do. Haha that voicemail by Kiki still amuses me. And I’m glad that you echo that sentiment!
haha… i HOPE no innocent young HSer reads this & takes you at your word… there is enough awkwardness in the world! =P
Oh trust me, high schoolers (both me when I was and others) came to mind for some of these points. Innocent? I don’t know about that. Perhaps gullible if they believe that I actually want them to do all of these things, though.
Haha maybe we should send the post to all of them and see what happens.
Someone should try this out and see what happens! I’m sure there would be some interesting stories afterwards
On another note, I think I may have completely forgotten to update you about Yosemite trip in August (Labor day weekend to be exact). LMK if you’re interested, slightly interested, etc. I’ll send you an email with the gory details.
my new dating guide!
Haha if so, good luck with that. Let me know how it goes. Something tells me that you’ll soon change your mind.
Very funny “advice” and I think I’ve heard about someone doing almost every one of these things (but not all by the same person).
Regarding Nervous: it’s too bad but most woman do seem to want SOME semblance of confidence when being asked for a date. Which makes “Tricking” a good option.
I’ve been “Tricked”! I have a lot of male friends so am very comfortable with hanging out without some type of dating/we’re on a date dynamic thing going on. So if it’s not anything obvious (a man I don’t know all that well) and some guy I’ve known for months asks to have dinner, I’m not thinking “date.”
I’ve been on a few “acci-dates” as Jill over at Twipply Skwood called them. I’ll be dumbfounded (”Move? Is this a move? Why are you making a move on me? I had no indication we were on a date…”)
Unless a guy is flirting with me (and I’m not particularly flirty) I have no clue. A good (male) friend of mine says that it’s because I have no idea how appealing I am so tune out all signs. He’s an ex boyfriend so I’d guess he would know! I’m just not that good with the “I’m all that” type of thinking…
My guess is you might have a similar cluelessness. There was one really cute and shy guy I knew in high school. So many girls had crushes on him and he had no idea. I had a crush on him and even (gulp) asked him out to the Winter Ball. But I did it under the “hanging out/buddy” type of asking since I was also shy - we were both part of this group of relatively popular people (but we felt we weren’t really core to the group).
At the 5th year reunion (the only one I went to but I plan to go to the 25th one THIS YEAR) I told him about all these girls had crushes on him and he was dumbfounded. What was inneresting was he expressed interest in going out with me! But…bad timing.
So…you dating anyone these days?? Hehehehe.
Well I’m glad that you can figure out that this isn’t actually advice that I want people to take.
Have you kept most of your ex-boyfriends as friends after the fact?
Why do you think that I have a similar cluelessness about when someone is interested in me? I mean, I very well might be. I’m just wondering why you think so.
Have any of those trick dates or “acci-dates” worked out well for you in the end? Did a guy doing any of the things on this list ever do very well with you in the long run?
Haha coincidentally I am dating! But thus far, my blog hasn’t been a whole lot of specific personal facts. And I don’t have any intention of doing that as of now. So I’ll leave it at that.