Age – It’s Just A Number
Tagged as: Mar 26We, as people, have a love/hate relationship with one of the things that is constantly changing: our age. Sometimes we want to get older, and sometimes we will do everything that we can to reduce it. But we really have no control over it, do we?
It seems as if all of this starts early in life. As we are going through the different grades in school, there is a marked distinction between students who are in different grades. Granted, this is all rather necessary because children generally mature and progress according to how old they are. So it makes sense in that situation. But the lasting influence seems to be that we feel comfortable with just people our own age.
Relationships
This effect can often be seen in the arena of relationships. Why is it that many of my friends who are girls will not even think about dating a younger guy? Is it because younger guys is not be great and worthy of her? Is it because they (the girls) are somehow more mature because they are a couple of years (sometimes a couple of months) older? I doubt it. Why do my guy friends only look for girls that are younger than them? And why is there a floor limit such that they won’t even consider girls younger than their specified age? There are a lot of questions, and there aren’t that many answers. All I know is that it all doesn’t make much sense. People limit themselves by not looking for the things that really matter, the essence and characteristics of a person. Then they complain that they can’t find anyone. And that’s just not right, is it?
Social Aspects
People age. That’s the truth. And it seems like as that happens the reality of death is more apparent. The chances become greater (on any particular day since the actual chances that you will die are 100%), and that seems to have lend itself to the general notion that young is better. Even more than that unspoken tendency is that socially we have come to praise the young as vibrant and beautiful.
On the other hand, people who are getting older can always attest that they are getting wiser. It’s true, they should be getting wiser anyways. They just have more experience, and those with experience know that it counts. Of course, those who lack it do not think that it counts for very much. I know, I’ve been/am still there.
Conclusion
But I say that it’s so much more important to be young at heart. Of people that I’ve met, young and old, I find myself consistently being convinced that being young at heart is truly the way that I want to go. I don’t want to lose the awe of a child looking at the huge expanse of the night sky or discovering something for the first time. No amount of time or social constructs can take that away. Whatever you do, don’t be proud of your age sheerly because of your age. That would make you Proud Of Nothing, wouldn’t it?
So really there are 2 ways that you can deal with age:
- Wine – get tastier and more valuable with age
- Cheese – get moldy!
Haha I know, I’m just good at making up strikingly accurate analogies. You don’t need to tell me twice. No really, you don’t.
i hope i’m like wine, but i sure do love cheese!
haha, and no, i did NOT make everyone pose just for my camera! in fact, most of those pics i had to steal from other people! it would be pretty funny if it was just me, though..haha..
Haha I like cheese, too. And those high class cheeses do have mold in them on purpose. But you get the general idea.
Great points. I really enjoyed reading this post.
Age makes no difference for me. The year someone was born in would not affect whether or not I wanted to hang out with them.
I’m glad that you enjoyed it. I’m also glad that age isn’t an issue for you!
Your points on relationships reminded me of this formula I’ve heard of to see if a girl is an acceptable age for you to date. I believe it was: “at least half your current age plus 7,” so as you get older your ‘range’ does increase according to this formula. Personally, I admit that I’m guilty as charged of never even seriously considering a potential romantic relationship with a girl in grades above me. But I’d have to say that I think age in terms of relationships does carry justified precedence in high school (and younger) because, as you said, grade signifies maturity level at that age group, and someone who’s not mature enough for a relationship simply shouldn’t be considered for one. As far as just choosing who you hang out with though, I think I’m practically understanding more and more every year just through random experiences I have that “older” people can actually be pretty fun and rewarding people to hang out with, and certainly, age shouldn’t be a factor. You know, Derek, you’re really good at making up strikingly accurate analogies.
I’ve heard of that formula. And while I used to think it was reasonable, I’ve lately been more and more inclined to think that anything like formulas and other guidelines aren’t very kosher. While trying to be helpful, they’re just perpetuating the ideas that this post is fundamentally in opposition to.
It’s easy to see why you’d say the things that you do, since rules of high school still apply. But just remember that the relationships that will really end up mattering will be the ones that result in marriage. Right? And those relationships are not going to (usually) happen in high school.
You know, this post applies to people no matter what age. While it might not apply as much for romantic relationships, just think about all of the times that you’ve heard someone say that you don’t know something just because you haven’t reached that particular age. Anytime people use their age in a way to put others down, they’re precisely being proud of nothing (as I described in my post of the same name). Do you know what I’m talking about? Or did that happen only in my experience?
What analogy are you complimenting me on? The wine and cheese? In any case, thanks!
So basically, you’re saying (of my high school relationships point)… I’m right… but it doesn’t really matter? I could agree with that, although I do then find it quite trivial that you so much enjoy inquiring me of my high school romantic attractions when they admittedly don’t really matter (“usually”), haha. Of course, I’m sure you do have a very logical explanation for that.
I must also confess to being guilty of telling underclassmen that they’ll understand something when they’ll get older (although jokingly), simply because I don’t feel like exerting the time and effort to explain to them at the moment. But yeah, that made sense to me. It’s not only you, haha.
Wasn’t the wine-cheese analogy the only one in the post? Well, I was just referring to whatever you were essentially complimenting yourself for, and I believe that was it. So, you’re welcome!
You probably accurately took what I said, but I probably said it wrong. Or in an ambiguous way that made you think that. I don’t actually think that high school relationships don’t matter. I think that they definitely teach people things. And sometimes they really do work out.
Maybe it’d be more accurate to say that as one gets older and older (including in school) age should matter less and less. There’s a marked difference in maturity between someone in elementary school and someone in junior high. However, the difference is not so marked between say a senior and a junior in high school. So I was wrong to say that your rules apply to high school. I actually think that they shouldn’t (because by then you’re older and it should be mattering less and less).
So…sorry about the confusion. I like asking you because I know that you must think of it. I know that I did. And I do think that they’re important. They just unfortunately don’t result in marriage (which is more important). But they’re a step in the whole learning/self-realization/maturing process. So basically I forgot to take that into account in my previous response to your comment.
Oh and good job actually using the threaded comments! (Where you actually made your comment reply to mine.) Not too many people actually use it (besides me).
I feel like age matters when you’ve literally seen someone grow up and then they start dating someone your age. (hello, you’ve gotta agree that my case is different). It’s just plain weird. I mean if two people that have an age gap happen to meet, then, whatever..not so strange. It’s different when they’ve known each other for forever as one thing and then suddenly things change…or maybe it’s just strange for the people around them haha. I think that it also depends on what “walk of life” one is in. If two people are different ages, yet pretty much at the same place in life, then hey, okay maybe age doesn’t matter. It’s not always too young that I wouldn’t consider, but too old is also something that matters to me. sorry. just my personal preferences and thoughts!
Haha that blurb of thought made me laugh. Maybe because it was such a stream of consciousness. But those opinions from you don’t surprise me. Maybe you shouldn’t show certain people this post. It’ll only validate them even more.
Oh and while you do have points, I think that they can ultimately not matter. And I’m generally okay with that.
The bigger issue, though, is actually being able to see beyond something like age to the actual person. Would you agree that’s correct? Or would you have to disagree in order to uphold your thoughts about other things that are going on around you?
okay. i do agree that the issue is whether or not the real person can be seen through the issue of age…and i think that it could happen. That’s why i said the whole thing about it depends on how they know each other and at what point in life they meet. and about that post validating people’s opinions…it is so much more than just the age that makes me feel so strongly. i guess it’s situation specific. but again, in general…weird. which points are you “generally” okay with and why just generally?
Well when I said “generally” I meant that I’m generally okay with points not mattering. But I can’t speak in absolutes because I’m sure that there are situations that I’m not okay with. Sorry for that confusion. I had to look back to see what I was saying anyways. I’m not sure that I agree in theory with how people meet being an issue. You might think that there are conflicts, but maybe it shouldn’t be. Check out an article about Martin Luther’s marriage that I recently read to see why I’ve been thinking some of the things that I have.
And remember, a lot of these things that I think about for relationships are for the initial contact. I just don’t like it when people make snap judgments based on things like age. After a relationship is established, there are a lot more things that are fair game for criticism.
[...] young and old are how they deal with relationships. Even more important than their years (after all age is just a number) is the maturity with which they handle [...]
Until I hit my 40s, I wasn’t all that interested in dating younger men. I’m okay with 5-6 years younger now and that’s more because men have decided about late 30s if they want children or not. Men in their late 30s also seem to have dated enough to know what they want. Not that younger men don’t know what they want.
I pretty much have a plus/minus 5 year age range. There’s some “wiggle room” but it’s a range.
Haha, all right, I think I’m ready ready to put theorizing about the perception of age to rest for now. Thanks for addressing the specifics of high school relationships to me. I’m sure they’re revelations I ought to keep in mind throughout the next month… Anyway, thanks to this blog, I should be ascending the ranks of your comment members now, mwahahaha. Okay, whatever. Talk to you later!