Neighborhood Dogs
Tagged as: May 28Say you’re taking a nice afternoon run. You’re on the home stretch, and you’re trying to kick out the last of the run. Then all of a sudden you look back and there’s a dog weighing perhaps 75 pounds running at you and barking. You had just seen the owner go into their house to put something away and nobody was around.
What would you do?
- Try to outrun it
- Squat down and receive it with arms open wide, all the while oohing and ahhing at the cuteness of it all
- Yell like a madman for help
- Cover your crotch with one hand and hope for the best
- Cry like a baby
- Play with it
- Fight it
Yeah I can’t even think of any other possibilities. Tell me what you’d do, guess what I did, and then check out the next page for a fun picture.
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I think I would pretend to be friendly at first. I ask the dog to catch a piece of wood (assuming I can find one!) and then I would run like hell!!
Haha it sounds like a lot of trickery. Somehow I don’t feel confident in my dog-tricking abilities.
throw the nearest thing far away and while the rabid dog goes to fetch it, sprint to the nearest get away car. if the nearest thing happens to be you, ill throw you
I always knew you were a man with superhuman strength. And how exactly would you power this getaway car? Push it?
Good thing I’m not running with you anytime soon!
so the dog attacked you??
No I think that it just wanted to play. And it just so happened that its nails were longer than they should have been so they scratched me a bit when it jumped on me. I didn’t know it was that bad until I lifted up my shirt, though. It looks much worse than it was/felt.
You have to run at the dog. If they try to bite you you have to jam your arm deeper into their throat and not try to pull it out.
Headbutting their nose also helps.
Don’t be afraid to grab the dog’s top jaw in one hand and bottom jaw in the other and just twist. Once you hear something pop you can stop and the dog will run away. You can also kick the dog in the privates and hope it is a boy dog.
That is some good information! Have you ever needed to use it? I’ve heard about sticking your arm as far down their throat as possible, but some of those other tips sound very usable as well.
Yes, also works with cats (the throat thing). Even though they do not have the gag reflex like we do by jamming your arm down their throat you limit their ability to put enough pressure on you via their jaw muscles (think about the law of leverage).
The dogs that come after me tend to be the slobbering type. I’m a cat person.
#2 and 6 of course. how can there be any other option?
HAHA, derekson, you are so funny. what kinda doggy was it?!
Haha yeah I totally thought of you and Anna when I wrote about the whole dog-loving thing. Would you even do it with dogs that are running at you and you don’t know if they’re going to attack or not?
I don’t know the specific type but it was a short-haired black dog. Haha I don’t really know that many types of dog I guess.
yea, i think i’d be pretty scared if a dog was running straight at me…unless it looked like it wanted to play!!
hey, you never emailed me back!!!!
Haha how do you tell if it wanted to play? Tongue hanging out and tail wagging?
Huh. At around 98 lbs I’m not a great match for a 75 lb dog! I’m not afraid of big dogs in general but if there were no place for me to duck behind I think I’d be forced to hold my ground and depending on the type of dog (a jaw-locking dog like a pitbull or rottweiler) I might start waving my arms and barking/making loud noises. Maybe this is the “bear defense” but if if there were no where to run or jump to, I’m not sure. I might also try grabbing it’s neck if it attacked but dogs are strong.
Oh the “attempt to be bigger than they” defense did come to mind. But then I thought it would be bad if it wanted to play and then from my actions decided that I actually was looking for a fight. I just didn’t want to provoke it to make it more likely to attack me. But when it’s going to be a pitbull, rottweiler, or similarly aggressive dog I could see that as a viable defense. Yeah, the thing about dogs is that they’re much stronger than their sheer size. A 75 lb dog is a very fair match for a human more than twice its size. I think that it’s partly due to their all or nothing animal mentality. That is, they’ll commit everything to the fight if necessary while a human can always be somewhat reserved about it. What do you think? Are you a dog person?
Well, I wouldn’t be too worried about my crotch. I think I’d have to see the look on its face, and if the hackles were raised. I’d try friendly first, then using a commanding voice, then I’d run like heck! Lemme go see what you did.
Haha true enough on you not needing to cover up like I did!
Yikes, was that friendliness or an attack?
Well since I was running around, I kind of think that it just wanted to play with me. The nails not being trimmed were the owner’s (not the dog’s) fault. Unfortunately I wasn’t exactly in the “play with the random dog in the neighborhood” mindset.
Are you a dog person?
I was approached by a snarning barking dog that would not stop. I was convinced he was going for my crotch, Thinking if I kick and miss…he’s got me. He got as close as I was going to let him, he looked vicious!
Not even having to bend to reach his head (he was so tall) I slapped him on the left side of his head and shouted NOOO! I spun him around ans he ran home. Thank God!
ken
Well I’m glad that you weren’t hurt! I’m surprised that the dog didn’t want to attack you after you hit it, though. That’s what I was afraid of if I were to hit the dog anyways.